This section exists for those who aren't a part of the Christian community to say what's on their mind.

You may find stories of struggles with Christians; you may hear about stories of forgiveness and reconciliation; you might even find positive feedback about this site.

If you're interested in contributing, please submit your story here.

Your Stories

Wow. I came to this website with apprehension. Is this a trick? Am I going to be insulted, threatened with damnation, made fun of? Told I have to believe, or else!? I started getting teary eyed around the fourth apology and was crying by the end. Your apologies are brave, and I forgive you.

I apologize for all the times I feared you when you revealed yourself to be a Christian. I apologize for all the times I rejected your thoughts and opinions just because you are a Christian. I apologize for all the times my beliefs in universal unity wavered. I apologize for all the times my patience gave out.

I think we have a lot more to offer one another and a lot more to gain from coming together then we have by staying separated and pulling apart. Hopefully one day we will all come together under the umbrella of love.

--Jennifer

I am not Christian. I am sorry that I rolled my eyes when I saw the name of this site. I am sorry that I judged every Christian on the planet to be the same.

--Anonymous

I am a "recovering" Catholic living in a mid-sized city in the Bible Belt. I'm also a published writer, and I make no bones about my atheism in my writing. My children are both beautiful, smart, funny, kind-hearted kids, but they have very few friends. My husband heard recently from the rumor-mill at work that some of the ladies on our block have said that they don't let their kids play with mine because we don't go to church. I don't mind so much that we don't get invitations to the neighborhood get-togethers. We'd rather stay home, anyway; we enjoy each others' company. But it upsets me greatly that my children are having a lonely childhood because my neighbors are intolerant of religious difference. It hardly seems Christ-like to punish them for our beliefs.

--Wendy

I read through the apologies on this site and unexpectedly started crying my eyes out. I was raised in the church and left a long time ago. There are too many stories to even begin to share here. It amazes me that something that is supposedly all about love and grace can cause so very much wrenching pain and damage....can't even begin to say...

--Anonymous

I have to say that I came here with doubts. But I can leave saying that this is a wonderful website. I used to be Christian, but have since left because of what I felt was intolerance, hatred, and the unwillingness to listen to others who were different in any way. I still feel that there are many Christians out there who are like this, but more and more everyday I meet many who aren't. I feel like they are also getting the crappy end of the stick because the intolerant Christians are shutting them out.

But this is an apology website. I do apologize for hating Christians when I was younger. I can't hate an entire group for the failings of a few. I do apologize for laughing at Christians. It was just as bad as some laughing at me.

I think with age comes maturity and I realize now that I can't hate people at all. I can dislike, that's something you can't help, but I can no longer hate people. I wish that people of any religion could understand that. It's ok to disagree, but hatred just pulls everyone down.

--Lex

I am glad to see so many people who can recognise how Christians sometimes portray themselves to those who are not Christian. I believe those that seek to walk in the footsteps of Christ, do not seek anything more than to improve themselves and to demonstrate by example. I am not a Christian, but I walk in the footsteps of Christ daily. I seek to lead by example, and to encourage personal growth in others. The results of this are the same whether you are Christian, Buddhist, Sikh, or indeed, as is the case with me, Pagan. Christianity is a language of good people, but it is only one of many languages that we speak as humans.

--Peter

I was raised a Christian. I had no bad experiences during the time I was one. I have no horror stories to tell, no sordid tales of abuse. All that happened was that, as I got older, I realized it just really wasn't my path. It's that simple. I guess another way to say it is simply that my mind understands Deity in a different way.

I left the Church when I was 18 years old, though I had stopped being a Christian by the time I was about 11 or 12. Truly, for a large part of my childhood, I was agnostic: I believed in God, but I did not have a definition or a clear way to relate.

I found my current path and converted when I was 19 years old. I self-dedicated when I was 21, and I have never looked back, been happier, nor been more at peace, spiritually, than I have been on my current path.

My advice to Christians is to please beware of the extremists within your ranks, for if you look at them closely, they do not truly demonstrate Christ-like qualities. These people are wolves in sheep's clothing, and their ugly behavior is destroying your movement. I say these things, because even though the path was not my path, I respect its teachings.

--Jennifer

When I saw the URL on a pagan board I had to see what Christians were confessing. Your site brought tears to my eyes. When I applied for my job I made a solemn vow to be 'out of the broom closet', as we say, if I was hired. I was. I don't talk about being a pagan unless someone asks and never try to convert anyone - but I have had such a hard time. I wish more Christians were as loving and tolerant as those on this board. I have always loved Jesus, and He's been a part of my pantheon from the beginning. It's encouraging to hear those who live as Christ wanted us to do. To be like him and love each other. Keep up the good work. It means a lot to the rest of us.

--Jeannie

Your banner says “Please help us to discover how we can do better.” Okay. This a wonderful start, and it’s just a start. Too often an apology is a cheap substitute for actually fixing the problem. Talk is cheap. As an atheist my moral principles come from inside myself rather than from outside, and I’m tough on myself when I screw up. I have to make amends rather than merely apologize. An amend is to repair what I broke, return what I took, heal what I injured. Not only does an amend make things right, it’s a lot of work and it keeps me from repeating the offense much better than just an apology.

If you as a Christian apologize for something that other Christians have done, or your religion in general has done, what, if anything will be your personal amend? Will you work hard to get other Christians to stop those offenses, fearlessly getting in their faces? Will you petition your church to take a strong and active stand for eradicating the offensive practice? If your apology is about yourself but still is vague and general like “I’m sorry I have been a self-righteous jerk,” what will be your specific personal amend? Will you seek out the particular victims of your unkindness to make actual amends? Will you successfully avoid repeating similar behaviors in the future? Or will your apology soothe your conscience just enough so that you can resume your old habits?

An apology is vibrating air. An amend is tangible action. You are what you do, not what you say. Congratulations on a good start. If you follow through with making real changes, your life, your principles and your religion will have real, solid meaning.

--Richard Wade

I love the idea of this. But I don't see it working.

There was a confession booth on my campus, and they asked if we had anything we felt Christians had wronged us with. I told them I felt like I'd been kicked out of my church for being gay, at a time I was struggling with it, and two of them visibly recoiled.

There is nobility to the intent of this. But seeing that recoil of disgust, like I'm a leper, that kicks hard enough I'm shut off to the message. Can Christians really confess these sins before they repent? Words are lovely and words are good, but they are only words, and an apology is always too little, too late. What's the point of confessing or apologizing as long as you go on, unchanging? I don't see the rhyme or reason.

When I go to groups that work for social welfare--Invisible Children, runaways' shelters, whatever--it's never the Christians giving their heart and soul. I see secularists burning themselves out to save the world while the religious skip out with apologies and excuses and talk that they can't do it all, only God can really solve problems. Is there a point to all these words? Are they anything but a way to pretend you're changing? I don't see the apologies as anything more than words. When do I get treated as an equal? If Christians number so many in the world, when do they stand up and finally make a real difference? Why don't you ever do more than apologize and talk?

This sounds like anger. It's not. It's anguish. You're bailing out the Titanic with a little tin bucket.

--Phillip

Thank you for your words. I have known many good-hearted Christians in my life, and though I no longer call myself one, I appreciate the great humility and decency among those who do. I see in Jesus' teachings a profound message of love and generosity, and feel gratitude to see this sentiment echoed here, above the many other messages Christianity often finds itself associated with. Much, much love.

--Rob

I hope that one day, christians can respect non-christians and those who refuse to believe. I'm tired of christians mislabeling atheists as devil worshipers and and amoral, soul-less heathens. Such derogatory names for people who choose to live by their own accord.

People are inherently good, we do not feel that religion is necessary to foster and bring about such goodness. We are not people who will commit and/or condone murder, rape, theft, assault because we do not know god's love. And as easy as they are to refute, it becomes tiresome to do so. I had previously lost hope in man when there are so many people who have used the bible to segregate and hurt others. This site tells a different story.

Thank you for the novel idea.

--David

I don't consider myself to be a Christian, although I think his teachings are valuable and I do know them fairly well. I was raised Catholic and had a Protestant conversion experience in college. I now practice Buddhism, but I want to be clear that that practice does not entail believing anything in particular.

What I want to give to the folks who've submitted their apologies on this Web site is as much encouragement and admiration as I can possibly muster. From what I can tell, you're headed in the direction Jesus truly wanted you to go. It's good to see that when so many of the examples of Christians I see are so frightening. I deeply appreciate how you are stretching yourselves vigorously and reaching for what is good and true.

Lastly just let me say that I know very little, if anything, and I could write pages of apologies of my own. I'm glad we're on this journey together discovering and growing the best in ourselves and leaving the worst behind.

Much Love,

--Ryan

This website has, in its own tiny way, restored my faith in the world (if not in God, for that, forgive me.) It's forced me to see that there are people on both sides that would prefer we work together and see beyond the prejudice and pain. Thank you all for that.

--Anonymous

Firstly, I appreciate every single person who has posted to this site. This is quite possibly the most amazing and uplifting thing I've seen this year. I think that anyone reading this site will forgive you out of the sheer honesty and candor of the apologies.

I, as a former Christian who still holds many of the same beliefs, would like to offer my own apology.

I apologize for judging Christians too quickly. Ironically, I judge Christians for their judgment of others. I feel that it is just and right to be upset about some of the trends that have appeared in the religion over the past several years...And I am. The Christian religion outwardly supports many of the key ideologies that I oppose with the very essence of my being.

However, it is not my right to pass judgment on anyone who has not personally done me wrong. My story below is the point at which I thought again about Christ's lack of judgment. I don't know that this example of human kindness is the same trait that mandates us to not judge each other, but I will take this as a personal reason that I should keep a more open mind about people.

I always considered an acquaintance of mine to be a thorn in my side. He was the typical "Bible-thumping" sort, always telling other people what was wrong, or why what he thought was right. Since we hang out in the same place very often, we bumped heads on many an evening over coffee. On frequent occasion, I would argue the theological basis of his arguments, and often, he upset me by refusing to see the other side of the coin on issues such as the current war, homosexuality (if it matters, I'm straight), and general religious debate subject matter.

I'm closer to an atheist in argument and logic than most, and closer to a Christian in my personal beliefs than most would imagine. So as you could imagine, the arguments got heated, and I couldn't stand the guy (yet would engage in the debates anyways!!!).

This is until one day, he showed his true colors. I can't say that this is anything special, because it's really mundane. But it meant a hell of a lot to me at the time, and still today.

I had just been dumped by a long-term girlfriend. It was out of the blue (at least to me it was), and I was deeply hurt by the whole ordeal. At the coffee shop, I spoke my sob story to many of my friends, and received the expected "that sucks," or "you're better off without her anyways."

My friend, the acquaintance, surprised me though. His response was different. He said, "If you wanna talk about it, we should go out for some drinks."

And so we did. That night was the only conversation I had with him that didn't involve religion or religious politics. And that was the only night that it really mattered. When the chips were down, he was the only true friend I had (and I couldn't stand the guy before that night!).

After a long night of drinking and good light-hearted conversation, I forgot about the girl, at least for that night. It helped me through one of the most difficult moments in my life. I'm determined to pay him back whenever the time arises. If it's not him, I'll pay someone else back just the same.

I'll never forget that evening. And with that said, atheist, Christian, Buddhist, or Muslim, gay, straight, republican or democrat; never judge your brothers and sisters. We're all facing some really hard times right now with the economy, gas prices, food prices, job market, war, and social change. In an instant, an annoying acquaintance may be your best friend when you need them.

--Anonymous

I can't tell you how amazing I found this site to be. I'm no longer a Christian in the traditional sense. I gave up on the religion when I realized that represented everything that I am not.

I speak of course of the 'religion' - NOT - the faith.

I may believe it in a different way than is traditional, and I may disagree with some prevailing interpretations of it, but ultimately these things do not matter. What matters right now are the billions who face starvation when we can do something about it. What matters is the impending social and economic implosion in America. Too many people are going to need us, not because we're Christians or Buddhist or Jewish or Muslim, but because we all need each other. Now more than ever. And we need to respond, not because we're Christians, Jews, Buddhists or Muslims, but because it is the right thing to do under any god.

In times like these, it is comforting and hopeful to see a beacon of light like this website. This will bring meaningful unity among everyone, and will serve to bridge the gap that exists between too many people. I'll spread this site to anyone I can.

I grew up with stories from my grandmother of the great depression. They were horrible times, but the people had each other, and the church supported so many people in such a bleak time. I always vowed that I would remember this in case it ever happened again in my lifetime. If it does (and I hope it doesn't), I'm behind anyone who brings people together. If it doesn't happen, we can all do our part to make things right where they are wrong.

What you're doing is important and drastically needed. Even with all of the pressing issues in the world, something like this may have a bigger impact than you could possibly know. Please keep doing it. You'll have my monetary support as soon as I can provide it to you.

Kindest Regards,

--Brian

I am a 40 year old male atheist who was forced to hide my atheist belief from everyone till the age of 16. My shame of lying to everyone through my youth, reverberates in me still to this day.

All of my immediate family members including my wife are non-believers. Subconsciously, I treat all "Christians" as hypocrites, full of hatred and pity for the rest of the non-believing world. I don't like thinking this way, but I can't help it. My best female friend, ironically, is a 100% devoted Christan woman I have known for 15 years whose life I literally saved. She and I share a deep, respected friendship but inside, I hate her for being a Christian. She has done nothing to deserve these feelings.

I still can not bring myself to say I am sorry to her after all these years for my inner feelings. The best I can do now is publicly apologize to everyone else who I may have treated with disdain for being a Christian. My hope is that someone, somewhere may read this, approach a neighbor or distant acquaintance and say "It is OK for you to not believe -- let's be friends anyways."

Thank you for an opportunity for getting this off of my chest. It will make me feel like I have made some difference in this religious warfare.

--Duane

For the most part, every one that is a part of the religious delusion preaches a message of tolerance and understanding, but in my experience it's been quite the opposite, at least for people that don't express your views of course.

As an atheist, I constantly feel unwelcome and uncomfortable around any one that declares themselves a person of faith. I've been told on numerous occasions how I'm going to 'burn in hell for eternity' and that I need to think about the afterlife and I'll surely repent and change the errors of my ways.

I'm sorry, but for the most part you are all very arrogant. I will not be burdened by your demons. A part of me likes to think that as a person that is almost directly opposed to the way that you think, the fact that I can live a happy and successful life is a mockery of your shameful excuse for a belief system.

And sometimes as a gay man, I feel scared for my life. There are those among you who equate homosexuality with pedophilia and murder, and would like nothing better to see me put to death, or exorcised to get the demons out, beaten, converted to heterosexuality, whatever. You people disgust me. Me being gay has absolutely nothing to do with who I am as a person, or how I behave or interact with other people, and there is nothing that could be more insulting than to be told by random strangers that I'm incapable of love, or that I'm vile filth on the face of the earth and should be burnt alive. Thanks for that.

You infiltrate everywhere, promoting ignorance, indoctrinating children into your insanity and anti-intellectual doctrine well before they even know how to make up their mind about anything. You would think it silly to identify a 5 year old as a democrat, or a vegetarian, or any other group or organization that requires _any_ amount of critical thinking, and yet you find nothing wrong with a 5 year old calling themselves a Christian, or a Muslim, or whatever. That's just wrong, and they have absolutely no idea what that even means.

I want you out of the government, out of science, out of public school systems, out of my personal life, in a small little corner in your godforsaken tax free hate mongering churches where you can keep your belief in an invisible man in the sky watching over you to yourself.

--Logan